Post by Paul Hogan on Mar 22, 2005 20:56:35 GMT -5
1. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done.
5. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
6. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
7. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
9. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
10. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a thingytail hour.
11. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
12. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
13. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
14. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
15. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
16. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
17. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How
would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
18. The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done.
5. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
6. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
7. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
9. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
10. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a thingytail hour.
11. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
12. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
13. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
14. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
15. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
16. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
17. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How
would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
18. The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.