Post by Paul Hogan on Jun 8, 2006 7:04:46 GMT -5
Rule #1:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 30ml socket yet?" No one knows why.
Rule #3:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. Again, no one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink Bundy or West End.
Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Banner, Softwood, Home Hardware, D.C. Whilshires, The HSV shop, and Bob Jane Tmart. (Sprint Auto Parts and Target' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From Rocker Brothers? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a 82 Holden Commodore? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 50kg propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12:
Tickets to a Power game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Combination Extension/Step ladders are acceptable, as are those funny ladders with all the bendy bits
Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a Twenty meters of 15ml" manila rope. No one knows why.
Author Unknown
(but it must have been a man!)
P.S. Whoever wrote this must have been a woman, If a man wrote it he would of known why rules 1, 2, 3, 8, 12, and 15 apply. A man would of also realised that Rule #9 doesn’t apply, as all men consider themselves to be handy men, and love to assemble things, usually putting it together is more fun than actually having it. It is the wives/partners who don’t like the resulting mess, as they usually have to clean it up.
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 30ml socket yet?" No one knows why.
Rule #3:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. Again, no one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink Bundy or West End.
Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Banner, Softwood, Home Hardware, D.C. Whilshires, The HSV shop, and Bob Jane Tmart. (Sprint Auto Parts and Target' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From Rocker Brothers? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a 82 Holden Commodore? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 50kg propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12:
Tickets to a Power game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Combination Extension/Step ladders are acceptable, as are those funny ladders with all the bendy bits
Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a Twenty meters of 15ml" manila rope. No one knows why.
Author Unknown
(but it must have been a man!)
P.S. Whoever wrote this must have been a woman, If a man wrote it he would of known why rules 1, 2, 3, 8, 12, and 15 apply. A man would of also realised that Rule #9 doesn’t apply, as all men consider themselves to be handy men, and love to assemble things, usually putting it together is more fun than actually having it. It is the wives/partners who don’t like the resulting mess, as they usually have to clean it up.