Post by Willow on May 19, 2005 7:12:22 GMT -5
How to Shower Like a Woman:
Ø Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Ø Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Ø Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.
Ø Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice ston
Ø Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Ø Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Ø Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
Ø Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
Ø Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Ø Rinse conditioner off hair.
Ø Shave armpits and legs.
Ø Turn off shower.
Ø Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Ø Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Ø Get out of shower.
Ø Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Ø Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Ø Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
Ø If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower Like a Man:
Ø Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile on the floor
Ø Walk naked to the bathroom.
Ø If you see wife along the way, shake Willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Ø Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your Willy and scratch your bum.
Ø Get in the shower.
Ø Wash your face.
Ø Wash your armpits.
Ø Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Ø Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Ø Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Ø Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Ø Wash your hair.
Ø Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Ø Wee.
Ø Rinse off and get out of shower.
Ø Partially dry off.
Ø Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Ø Admire Willy size in mirror again.
Ø Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Ø Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
Ø If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake Willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Ø Throw wet towel on bed.
Ø Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Ø Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Ø Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.
Ø Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice ston
Ø Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Ø Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Ø Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
Ø Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
Ø Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Ø Rinse conditioner off hair.
Ø Shave armpits and legs.
Ø Turn off shower.
Ø Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Ø Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Ø Get out of shower.
Ø Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Ø Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Ø Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
Ø If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower Like a Man:
Ø Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile on the floor
Ø Walk naked to the bathroom.
Ø If you see wife along the way, shake Willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Ø Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your Willy and scratch your bum.
Ø Get in the shower.
Ø Wash your face.
Ø Wash your armpits.
Ø Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Ø Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Ø Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Ø Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Ø Wash your hair.
Ø Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Ø Wee.
Ø Rinse off and get out of shower.
Ø Partially dry off.
Ø Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Ø Admire Willy size in mirror again.
Ø Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Ø Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
Ø If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake Willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Ø Throw wet towel on bed.